There’s Stewie Stone holding forth at the Friars Foundation Applause Award Gala at the Waldorf-Astoria, regaling 600 dinner guests with his foibles.

"I remarried my ex-wife," Stewie said. "That’s like breaking out of jail and breaking back in."

Now that he’s 70, he said, sex is not on his list. Regularity is.

The crowd roared, including Jamie DeRoy, Don Buchwald, John Catsimatidis, Stewart Lane, Phylicia Rashad, Randie Levine-Miller, Irv Welzer, Leonard Wilf, Mike Stoller, Mark Simone, and Jeffrey Wiesenfeld.

Freddie Roman, dean of the Friars, came to rescue: "Stewie, you were never funnier—and ain’t that a shame."

Friars can also be serious, especially at a charity. The national anthem was rendered by Ariana Savalas, the gorgeous daughter of Telly Savalas. (Remember Kojak? I’ll never forget—it was Kojak that brought Nina and me together.)

Paul Schaffer presented the Applause Award to the legendary William "Smokey" Robinson. Smokey was an original member of Motown records’ first vocal group, The Miracles, and a solo artist, composing major hit songs over 50 years.

Smokey, who’s marking his eighth anniversary with his wife Frances, said he’s "a true advocate to get the arts back into our schools. It’s so very important to give our kids something they really love as well as their regular work."

Dinner chairman Leonard Berkeley presented the Applause Award to David Steiner, real estate developer and creator of Steiner Studios, the film and TV production facility at the Brooklyn Navy Yard.

Enough seriousness. This is a Friars affair, after all. Sherri Shepherd, co-host of ABC’s The View, chimed in: "Smokey, my mother got pregnant from your music. So you’re the reason I’m here."

Further on that note, Lewis Black said, "Smokey, you were the soundtrack to my puberty."

Freddie concluded the evening with an important announcement: "Will the lady who lost a seven-carat diamond ring please form a double line to the right."