Fox News Chairman
Brings Us The Latest News
Story and Photos by Tim Boxer
OGER AILES, a sober individual as chairman of Fox News Channel, sounded much like he was auditioning for a spot on the Comedy Channel. He unfolded a sheet and read what he called the latest from the Fox news room:
Obama is really on the move. President Bush asked President Musharraf, "How can we catch this guy?"
John Edwards’ campaign is like The Little Engine That Could, and Bush said, "I’m reading that right now."
At the Academy Awards I thought Britney Spears looked great, then found out it’s Jack Nicholson.
He may be no Henny Youngman but his stand-up one-liners evoked guffaws from the 500 guests at the gala dinner of the Jewish Community Relations Council at New York’s Pierre Hotel.
Some who laughed loudest included NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly, Kenneth Bialkin, Manhattan Borough President Scott M. Stringer, Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz, former Mayor David N. Dinkins, and such UJA-Federation honchos as president Morris W. Offit, chairman Susan K. Stern, and executive vice president John S. Ruskay.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg, alluding to recent threats against the life of the police commissioner, said he called Kelly and offered to be his bodyguard. "Ray was too concerned for his safety and turned me down."
JCRC executive vice president Michael Miller doled out awards to AIG senior vice president Brian T. Schreiber, JCRC president Matthew J. Maryles, and trial lawyer Peter James Johnson and his sons Christopher and Peter Jr.
Lt. Gov. David Paterson said people keep asking him what does the lieutenant governor do? "I tell them that I wake up at 6 in the morning, I call the governor, and if he answers I go back to bed."